I Did It My Way


warnings: pov character death, suicide

tags: undertale


Chara looked down at their arms- who’s arms? In horrified confusion. Why weren’t they dead? Why did they feel so much bigger? Why was there another voice-?

Chara?

Asriel? Chara looked beside them, but no one was there. The room was empty except for-

Except for the dead child in the bed.

Chara felt their- is it really mine? Body move forward on its own accord.

Chara… are you alive?

They couldn’t be. They worked so hard for this, it had to have worked. But they were most definitely conscious in whoever’s body this was.

As they neared the bed, something flashed in the corner of their eye. It was in the mirror attached to the back of the door; a tall, horned white figure.

Chara stumbled backward, bumping into the dresser beside the bed. They felt their tail- Tail?! Swish in anxiety as they looked over the thing in the mirror. It was tall and skinny, with shaggy white fur and long black ears. Its horns were long, with a slight curved angle at the ends. Its fingers ended in large, vicious claws.

As they made eye contact with the creature, a wave of shock made them shudder and gasp.

Asriel. It worked. We merged souls. We can cross the Barrier now.

But- what’s going on? I thought- I thought that meant you dying.

I did die. My soul is letting me exist in this body with you. Chara directed their attention back to their corpse, sickly and pale, practically swallowed by thick blankets. They picked up their too-skinny body and tried to go to the door, but Asriel stopped them.

What are you doing?

I don’t want to take up space here, Chara replied. I… I don’t want to think about Toriel having to bury me. We’re going to take my body to the flower fields I talked about.

Okay, I guess… Asriel said, relaxing his hold on the body. Chara nodded and continued, opening the door quietly and hurrying down the hall. As they made their way through the palace and towards the Barrier, Asriel became more and more quiet.

What’s wrong? Chara asked.

After we do this… what will happen to you? You’re in here with me… do you still have to be dead?

Yes.

...Why?

Chara was silent for a bit. It’s just how it’s meant to be, they settled on. It has to be this way; I have to die to make things right for all of you. Chara ignored the contradictions to that, hoping Asriel wouldn’t see past their shitty veil and into ‘I’m still very suicidal.’

That feels so wrong, Chara. Why can’t we just live together like this? You don’t have to die.

Yes, I do. Chara snapped. Just stop talking and let’s cross this stupid Barrier.

Asriel didn’t reply. He let Chara pass through the shifting black-and-white vortex, but couldn’t contain his gasp as they broke into the bright, late-afternoon world of the Surface.

Wow… Asriel looked around at the trees, up at the sky, across the mountains and hills- everywhere. This is beautiful, Chara. This is where you’re from?

It is. Chara directed their gaze to a pretty patch of deciduous trees. The flowers are over that way. Asriel hummed an acknowledgement and walked in that direction. Once this is done, we have to get the other souls, remember?

Yeah… but do we really have to kill people?

Unless you can figure out a better way of getting souls, then yes. Chara paused. You know, since I’m here, you wouldn’t have to do the killing…

Chara, that’s really messed up.

Chara snorted. That’s kind of my thing, Azzy.

No, it’s not! Asriel protested. You’re compassionate and sensitive. And you always share things with me. Why do you always have to be so mean to yourself?

Because that’s how it’s supposed to be! Chara’s outburst made them fumble with their body, almost dropping it. They looked around at the golden flowers and shrugged, placing the body amongst them. We’re done here. Let’s head into town.

Wait! Asriel froze their legs again. This is wrong. We can’t just kill innocent people!

No human is innocent! Chara hissed. We’re all terrible, awful creatures. Humans will skin fluffy monsters like you and make you into a rug. Never, ever say that a human is innocent.

No! Stop being so mean! You can’t possibly know every human on the Surface, so stop generalizing them like that!

Asriel, would you just stop arguing and let me do the hard part?

No! No, no, no! Ariel shouted at the top of his lungs, and though the voice was inside their shared head, Chara covered their ears instinctively.

Shut. The hell. Up! Chara forced their legs to move. They made heavy, purposeful stomps out of the woods while Asriel screamed and cried. You said you were on my side. You said you would help me free you! Tears pricked their eyes. Why won’t you let me free you?

This is wrong!

If you would stop whining, you could block out everything I’m doing!

That doesn’t change anything!

With a growl, Chara forced control of the body, shoving Asriel out of their head. They stalked through the grass, relying on their foggy memory to get there.

Suddenly, a sharp pain hit their upper back. Chara turned around to see a human a few yards behind them.

“Hey, monster!” They yelled. “How the hell did you get here?” They threw another rock, and Chara ducked to avoid it. “I saw you with that dead kid!”

This is what I’m talking about, Chara said, not expecting or receiving a reply.

Another rock was thrown, and this time it hit Chara in the head. They let out a roar and charged at the human, flexing their claws and aiming a swipe. But before it could land, another human grabbed their legs from behind and toppled them over. Chara shoved the other human away and stumbled to their feet.

“Brainless murderer!” The first human shouted as they lobbed a much bigger rock at them. Chara tried to step out of the way, but they were still unbalanced from the fall, and got a shallow slice on their arm. Chara snarled and lunged at the human in front of them, pinning them to the ground and slashing across their chest. The human screamed a string of swears, eyes wide and pained. Chara growled again before whipping around to the other human, who was running at them again. They grabbed their shoulder and dug their claws in, reveling in the new power they had. This is what you do to humans! This is how you treat them! You can’t be kind to any of these creatures. You have to kill them!

By the time Chara noticed the other, more heavily armed humans, it was too late.

When the first bullet passed through their chest, they stared at the small cloud of dust that had already appeared.

Then came the overwhelming pain.

Chara bolted. They made giant leaps as quickly as they could until they reached the Barrier. They ran through the dizzying monochrome patterns and collapsed in the throne room, looking down in horror as dust poured from their various wounds.

Asriel, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…

It-it’s okay… I know you’ve been hurt before, Chara. I… I understand your anger.

I’m sorry…

It’s okay, Chara.

I’m so fucking sorry, Asriel.

Asriel joined in control of the body to bring their arms to their chest, wrapping around their shared body in a tight hug. I think… it’s better this way…

I’m sorry… Hot tears ran down their face, pain and grief clouding their vision. I’m so sorry…

I love you, Chara.

The pain was taking over as dust continued to spill on the floor. They could feel the beginnings of their soul glowing; preparing to leave the body.

I love you, too.