this is crazy old this is from 2017 but i still like it
warnings: death, abuse, panic attacks

tags: soul eater

Crona stared in horror as their friend bled out in front of them. The sword gripped shakily in their hands was weighed down by guilt. Maka's eyes barely met theirs as she grew weaker. Crona was shaking all over now, tears streaming down their face. Maka opened her mouth, but it wasn’t her voice that spoke.

“Great work, Crona.”

In a heartbeat, black snakes covered the ground. They were everywhere; crawling over their friend’s dead body, slithering up Crona's skinny legs, whispering to them.

“Look what you’ve done.”

Crona woke up with a shout, soaked in sweat and crying. They hugged their knees to their chest and rocked as the tears kept coming, blurring their vision.

“Crona!” Maka’s voice made Crona sob harder. Light fell over them as Maka rushed into their room and sat on the bed. “Crona, what happened?” She scooted closer and put an arm around Crona’s trembling shoulders. “Was it a nightmare?” Her voice was softer now. Crona could only nod in response. Maka sighed and leaned into them, rubbing their arm and waiting for the panic to pass. Crona’s sobs finally died down, leaving them hiccuping quietly.

“I killed you,” they whispered.

“Crona, you know you’d never do that,” Maka said.

“How can you be so sure?” Crona pulled away from their friend. She didn’t know that. She didn’t know what they could do at any moment. “I could snap. I could kill you right now, Maka.” They couldn’t control their breathing and the room started to spin. “You don’t know anything about me. You don’t know. I could kill everyone! I could become a kishin! The possibilities are endless, Maka!” They couldn’t stop talking. They couldn’t stop shaking.

“Crona, please,” Maka’s voice was shaking. Pathetic.

No, no! I’m not like that! Maka’s my friend! ...Is she?

“Where are you right now, Crona?” Maka sat cross-legged on their bed, facing them. Crona had moved to the very edge, sitting on top of their pillow with their back pressed against the cold wall.

“I’m… in her house.” The walls faded to white marble. There was the bunny, staring up at them. The sword was in their tiny hands.

“The bunny.” She was behind them. She was always behind them, watching. Waiting for them to mess up so she could lock them away. The sword slipped from their grasp and they were launched into the room. The room where they’d spend days on end with no food and only their demon blade to keep them company.

“It’s too dark…” Crona kept shaking. The door opened to reveal blinding light, only broken by Her shadow. She glared down at them.

“Please don’t hurt me!” They couldn’t move without something aching and tears pricking their eyes.

Do I trust Maka? Can I trust anyone? Can anyone trust me? It would just be easier to go back to Her.

No! I’ve worked too hard to go crawling back. She’s dead. I killed her. I don’t have anyone else but Maka.

What if I kill her, too?

“Crona!” Maka touched their shoulder and snapped them out of the flashback. “You were shutting down.”

“S-sorry.” Crona’s voice was barely a whisper.

“It’s not your fault,” Maka replied, “Come on, let’s have some tea. You can rest somewhere safe and we can figure this out, ‘kay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”